Just Float

DSCN4141_2I’ve never told anyone but I’ve had the same recurring dream most of my life. In it I’m running. Some nights I dash through winding city alleys and at other times I sprint through fields. My perspective shifts between a one-dimensional comic strip where I view myself as a character on a page to being in my body, eyes set dead ahead.

There comes a moment when I realize that I need to run faster. My strides become bounds and before long I leap across vast distances with little effort; taking a few short steps before I launch further than humanly possible. It’s exhilarating and freeing.

As my superhuman bounds increase I give in to the idea that I can float in the air as long as I believe that I can. The need to sprint leaves me. I am still. I suspend myself until I realize that I can’t fly. I sink slowly back to earth until I believe again. The rest of my dream is spent floating, gently falling, and floating again.

If the dream lasts long enough I will wonder if humans possessed the ability to float in the air before they were told it was impossible. This is the best part of my dream. I can’t explain it better than this: Try to imagine a shape that brings calm. Like hearing the perfect musical note and seeing it in your mind.

For a few moments after I awake I still believe I can fly. It’s a short-lived feeling between belief and reality. I try to revisit that place every moment of the day, however the feeling degrades over the following weeks until the dream returns.

I’ve never understood the dream until last night. It hadn’t visited me in months and I wondered why. What could it mean? It had never left me this long before.

The answer came faster than I expected and with incredible clarity. The dream would never visit me again. After all of these years it had finally accomplished its goal.

Many of us are driven to move forward. We strive to learn, gain experiences, and pursue the next objective. As one success leads to another we either continue on a path of proven accomplishment or we venture out beyond the comfortable, to the unknown. I’ve chosen to be uncomfortable most of my life. I left a steady career path to take a chance on what could be. I move between states and countries with the enthusiasm of a child staring wide-eyed at a table full of birthday presents. I embrace possibility.

I didn’t know that there was something further until I thought about my dream. There comes a time when the running is not enough and you realize that even the leaping has limits. It’s when you leave fate behind and realize that you can make the impossible possible with the skills you possess. It’s a subtle yet significant shift in your outlook, as if you were viewing the world through a filter without realizing it. Once you gain that perspective you can’t let it go.

So I started today a little differently. I opened my eyes with the knowledge that a big shift was about to take place and I was making it happen.


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