It’s difficult to convert strangers into friends after a certain age when you trade dorm rooms for apartments and sharing existential theories or discussing Jack Kerouac are no longer everyday topics of conversation.
After moving to San Francisco with my wife a little over a month ago we have been “showing our faces” at every conceivable event in hopes of meeting those special “someones.”
Let’s be honest, we each are lucky if we have one solid, “go to” friend that we keep throughout our lifetime. The kind of person that when you were a kid you saw every day when you used to ride your bike over to their house, play with GI Joe’s, their mom made dinner and a sleep over was inevitable.
According to a recent New York Times story, we most likely met them when we were young, attending the same school (high school or university) and were unable to get away from them. We let our guard down, so did they and since then we have shared our most private moments with them. In some cases they may have even become your husband, wife or partner.
These relationships take time, effort, nurturing and more consideration than a brunch menu item.
After a certain age, some experts say about 30, your view narrows, you become more conscious of who you want to spend time with and slowly become a Seinfeld cast member, peeling their personality back like an onion until we can’t stand to be around them anymore.
Some people have their kids to help. Play dates push together parents that would otherwise never say two words to each other.
But what about those of us who are over 30, professionals with busy work schedules and no kids to use as friendship bait?
It’s not easy making friends after a certain time in your life and for some people it is never easy. In my case, I used to just find myself in the right place at the right time. A well placed joke or some workplace creativity all help lay that foundation but they depend so much on fate.
So how do you make friends after 30 if you are not the joiner of clubs, shun adult playground games like kickball and the fraternity culture it stems from? Well, being witty on Twitter doesn’t do much good…
It used to be easy: